if i could turn back time, if i could make you mine
by anonymous.mystery95
Summary: The future is a surprise to everyone, even Barry Allen when he runs through time to it. But nothing is more surprising than returning back to the present, knowledge of the future in tow, and seeing it unfold before his very eyes. (Really though, looking back, he shouldn't have been surprised at all.)


He had been warned on numerous occasions that he shouldn't run back in time, that he shouldn't change the past, not for his benefit, not for anyone's.

The warnings surrounding running into the future... they weren't so stringent.

It was a desperate situation and the meta had mind-reading abilities, always able to stay one step ahead of the Flash, taunting him at every corner. But more than that he knew the Flash's identity, knew who his loved one's were, knew where their base of operations was. He knew everything that could destroy them. And he never let them forget it.

So it was obvious he needed to run into the future, if there was a future to be had at all. He needed answers, needed to know how to come up with a plan when the meta would always be aware of it. They prepare him, Cisco and Caitlin drilling him with the questions he would need to find answers to, Harry tinkering away at the workshop, grumbling that it would be easier for him to create a cap which would distort the brainwaves that the meta was manipulating than prepare Barry for travelling into the future. But soon enough he was ready for the trip, the whole team gathered around to send him off.

And then he ran.

It's easy to take over the life of your future self when you know that you're coming.

He is thankful it is an empty alleyway, more thankful it was the morning. He stumbles in his arrival, only to see himself leaning against the wall, a change of clothes in his hand. This Barry, this older Barry with greying sides and a goatee he is sure Iris would murder him for, that Barry laughs at the look of confusion on his face, throwing him the outfit before either one of them say a word.

Barry nods gratefully at the clothes, and in a blink of an eye he had changed, the Flash uniform packed away. "Thanks for this."

The older Barry laughs. It's a nice laugh, he thinks. But it's different. "No problem kid." At his expression he gives him a look. "Come on, it's been six years. Six long, long years." There is a wistful smile on his face, and Barry hates that it disappears so quickly. He feels as though he is robbing his future self of happy moments he should enjoy. "You should probably note down the date, don't want to leave past-you without any clothes now would you." A chuckle, then "if anyone sees you in that uniform they'd know you're ancient history."

Barry ducks his head, slightly embarrassed he hadn't thought of that. "So where are you going to be today?"

"Oh here and there," the older Barry replied, a twinkle in his eye. "I won't be spoiling your presence don't worry. Just try and make it the day without anyone realising."

He takes it as a challenge.

* * *

It takes around thirty seconds for Cisco to notice that something was different.

It took another ten for Caitlin to hesitantly mention it. "Barry," she starts slowly, her steps soft and careful. "Are you feeling okay? Is - is there something wrong with you and Iris?"

"Dude, if you're having a mid-life crisis just talk to us about it. There's no need to go dying your hair and shaving off that hideous, hideous goatee." Cisco pauses, "Okay there is always a reason for that thing to be gone but still - you're acting like you're twenty seven again."

He stills, eyes wide. "There - there's nothing wrong with how I'm acting."

Barry doesn't move, doesn't flinch as she approaches him slowly, her hand on his forehead, Caitlin flashing a light in his eyes, measuring his pulse. "You seem fine." Her eyes furrow. "Your heart-rate is a little high." It elicits a breathless laugh, Barry forcing himself to start breathing normally again. Because he was terrified of being caught and his body gave it away.

"I've just always looked this young you guys." He winks at them, his smile tight as he heart pounds in his chest. It does, however, seem to satisfy her.

She walks away from him, sitting at her desk. Caitlin and Cisco both throw surreptitious glances toward him, concern written on their expression. But they don't linger on the issue, moving on to the case at hand. He follows it vaguely, thankful his older version had given him a quick run-down of the situation they were dealing with.

And while they all work around him he takes time to reflect, eyes warm as they flicker over everyone in the room. Jesse and Wally acting like newlyweds, to the discomfort of Harry. Cisco and Caitlin teasing each other, working together seamlessly. If Cisco wasn't sporting a scruffy beard, if Harry wasn't showing more grey hairs than before, if Iris - his eyes almost water at the memory - if dear, sweet Iris didn't show up with two little babies who were determined to spend more time at the labs, babies with his nose and her complexion, then he would have forgotten he had ever time travelled. They were his family - they would always be his family. And when he was with them he would always be home.

It takes him six hours of reminiscing over memories before he could get one of them to tell him the plan of defeating the meta. Six hours of him hoping that they never caught onto the fact the only memories he would mention were those more than six years old. He almost shouts for joy as Cisco sighs over the memory, eyes flickering over to Caitlin, a soft smile on his lips. He sticks his hand out and she fistbumps it, their movement smooth, the pair laughing as Cisco mouths the 'boom' to himself as they do it.

They are distracted, and so they don't realise that he writes down the solution, shoving the paper in his pocket before turning to them, a weight off of his shoulders.

* * *

It is remarkably difficult to leave this time period for Barry, even if he was returning to a time where they were all still there and alive and his best friends. And he lingers, thinks that his future self knows he would want to stay and see them all happy.

And he does, playing with his children, misty eyed as he holds them both in his hands, pressing kisses all over their faces, laughing as they gurgle in joy. Cisco and Caitlin watch him in amusement, the two trading barbs against him. He can't help but defend himself, even as his cheeks ache from smiling so much, holding his sweet children against his chest, rocking them.

He turns to them, Cisco sitting on his work bench, Caitlin between his legs, leaning against Cisco's chest. She looks relaxed, her head resting on his shoulder, smiling as she watches him hold his children. "You're just jealous you guys."

And he gets distracted by his baby girl, tiny, pudgy hands holding his face, pressing against his cheeks. So he misses their reaction, the soft sigh from Caitlin, her smile falling. He misses how Cisco's turns his head, a tender kiss against her temple as he rests his hand on her stomach, stroking it softly. He misses the tiny whisper from Caitlin's mouth. "Yeah."

Barry reluctantly drags himself away from his friends, from his two babies, returning them to the playpen. Because as cute as they were his heart was feeling heavy, and spending time with them only served to remind him that they would be left in the future. The goodbye to his two babies was teary, and he couldn't stop the watery laugh as his baby boy reached out, pawing at the skin underneath his eyes, trying to wipe away his father's tears. He takes his time walking back to the main lab, the goodbye to the older versions of his best friends, the pair unassuming, unaware of what would be happening in the next few minutes.

They are distracted by their own conversation when Barry walks in, completely oblivious to him as he takes a spot on his desk, the man telling himself that he was being considerate allowing them to finish their conversation, telling himself that it had nothing to do with the fact that they were alive and here and still his best friends this far into the future of their timeline and that he didn't want to leave just yet.

He picks up his diary, flicking through it, only partially paying attention to his friends in front of him.

It's small at first, Cisco asking Caitlin whether she wanted a nice home cooked meal or a night of pizza and a movie. Barry brushes it off - they have movie nights all the time, and Cisco was an incredible cook if you were able to convince him to stay in the kitchen long enough for something to be made. She groans at the suggestion, collapsing against the back of her seat. "I don't think I have the strength to even leave this chair Cisco."

There is a huff of laughter from Cisco's mouth. "I'll carry you there Caitlin. We are definitely watching a movie this time. No distracting me this time." And then her laugh joins his, the pair sighing at the memory.

There is the roll of a chair, Caitlin hissing as she stands and there is the echo of footsteps against the floor, heavy and sure footed, Cisco the more likely option.

Barry lifts his head from the diary, ready to say something when he sees what's in front of him.

He managed to get her standing, Cisco standing behind Caitlin, the woman moaning softly as he massages her shoulders. Barry almost interrupts them but then Cisco moves, his hands sliding down her back, one arm wrapping itself around her waist. The movement is practised and natural and Barry knows it isn't the first time that he had done it. She follows his guidance, Caitlin leaning into Cisco easily, a soft smile on her face as he leans over, his face nuzzling into the crook of her neck.

He feels like an intruder, the pair still unaware of his presence, but Barry can't pull away from the display of affection before him, Cisco pressing a soft kiss against her shoulder, whispering something to her, too quiet for Barry to catch. And for the first time he wishes he had super hearing in place of super speed. But the expression on Caitlin's face, the way she melts at whatever she hears, it is magical and he wishes he could bottle it up, could give it to his Caitlin in the present day whenever she felt overwhelmed. She turns in Cisco's arms, the man meeting her for a kiss on the lips, the act delicate and soft and Barry can feel the love they had radiating from them, wrapping him up in warmth, flooding his body. It is chaste, both of them pulling away, resting their foreheads against the others, unable and unwilling to bite back their smiles. And, he thinks, when was the last time Caitlin had smiled like that, so pure and in love and carefree?

She lifts her left hand to hold Cisco's face, thumb stroking his cheek, before tilting her head for another kiss, deeper than before.

It is then Barry notices the ring on her finger. A wedding ring.

He blames the surprise of the wedding ring for his stumble, accidentally bumping into his desk, a groan of pain leaving him before he could stop himself. And they notice him, Caitlin breaking the embrace, breaking Cisco's hold on her to check over Barry, even with the grumbles of Cisco behind her.

He turns red, horrified that they would catch him watching them.

"I know we said no PDA during working hours but man, work's finished now. You didn't have to distract her away from me," Cisco groans, arms folded across his chest. Caitlin turns back to him, laughing to herself as Cisco sticks out his tongue to her.

They all wait while she gives him a rudimentary check up, a few minutes later professing that he was perfectly okay and that they could all go home. She throws him a look, amending her statement. Her and Cisco could go home, he still had to wait for Iris, Caitlin unsure of the effects that supersonic running would have on the babies - and quite sure no one would want to take risks to find out.

He nods, pulling them both into bear hugs, much to their surprise. And he tells them what he should every day, that he loves them both and they are wonderful friends and there wouldn't be a Team Flash if he didn't have such an amazing team. They hug him back and echo his words, and he may have gone overboard if the looks they give him at the exit of the labs give any indication. "You okay?" Cisco asks, and Barry gets distracted by the arm he has wrapped around Caitlin's waist and the way she leans into him.

"Oh - yeah, yeah. It's nothing." He brushes it off and they nod slowly, the pair leaving the lab after a long day.

The pair going home.

And, he thinks, he has to say goodbye to Harry. And convince him to mind the twins for the next few minutes.

Because he has a home to go to as well.

* * *

Returning back is a jarring experience, the future something he couldn't forget, not if he tried to. They are almost all waiting for him, Cisco and Caitlin and Harry in the lab, an excited look on their faces as he appears from a time they had not yet experienced.

"How was it?" Cisco asks, words mumbled by the lolly in his mouth. Barry doesn't answer, looking around for the one person he had wanted to see since he was there.

She comes thirty seconds later.

He doesn't mean to cry when Iris walks into the room, Barry speeding to her, pulling his wife into a kiss that left her breathless and confused. "It went well then?"

He nods, kissing her quickly before turning to the others, pulling out the sheet of paper in his hands. "I know what to do to beat him. And we are so close." Cisco jumps from his position, snatching the paper from his hands, Harry and Caitlin leaning over each of his shoulders to read the plan he had scrawled down, leaving him and his wife alone. "I missed you," he whispers, eyes dancing in mirth at the sight of her, his Iris, in his arms. "I missed you so much."

"I'd say I missed you too, but you were only gone ten minutes." He laughs at her words, so carefree and alive and the smile she gives him is like the sun, bright and shining and he needs it to survive, can't imagine a world where he doesn't get to see it every day.

"You don't have to," he murmurs it against her lips, melting against her, unwilling to ever let go. "You don't have to say anything at all."

* * *

Everything is different now he knows what happens in the future. And yet, nothing has changed at all.

He takes to watching Cisco and Caitlin interact in this time, in a time before they get together, looking for a sign, any sign, that there future would play out as he had seen it. And he sees them in abundance.

The longing looks toward each other, the pining from afar, the obliviousness to the other's affection. It is almost torturous to see now he was aware of it. They adopt each other's sayings, finish sentences, their Friday night ritual of box-set bingeing something neither was willing to let go of, not when it had them both falling asleep against each other on their couch and a breakfast the next day.

And Cisco... he is so soft with Caitlin, so concerned about her, every injury and scratch on her. He wouldn't sleep when she was hurt, taking vigil by her bedside. It is in these moments he is the most raw, devastation etched on his face, gingerly holding her hand until he felt her squeeze his own. He talks to her when he thinks they are alone, tells her that she has to be okay, that he would swap places with her in an instant, that he needs to see her smile one more time.

Cisco and Cynthia had broken up a year ago, and it had taken a big impact on his friend. He had busied himself with DeVoe and helping Harry with his memories and intelligence, but after that had was left to wallow in his emotions. And there was Caitlin, a comforting shoulder to lean on, there for whatever Cisco had gone through, carrying him through the sea of pain as she had done before and as he had done for her.

Barry wonders if she was in love with him, even then, or was she oblivious to what she was feeling.

And maybe it was inevitable, the build up between them, the pair. The love.

Because there was no one in the world they loved more than each other.

* * *

For a superhero who was supposed to have his identity as a secret, Barry really is horrible at hiding things from others.

"Dude." Cisco corners him when they're all alone a few months after the time travelling escapade. Though, Barry isn't sure if he can call it cornering when Cisco is stretching casually, feet on the desk as they are waiting for Caitlin and Harry to return with their dinner and coffees. "The staring is getting creepy."

Barry's head jerks up, shock shining in his green eyes as he finds Cisco's gaze. But for someone supposed to be so relaxed about it, there is a calculating look in his eyes. "What -" Barry coughs, clearing his throat. "What do you mean?"

"Ever since you came back from the future you keep on staring at me. And Caitlin. And you have this really intense look on your face and it's creepy." A thought strikes Cisco, the man swinging his legs down from the table and rolling himself to where Barry was sitting. The movement is smooth and Barry watches - he thinks that he may regret not running away when he had the opportunity. "Did you see something in the future?"

"No." He shakes his head vigorously and god, he is a horrible liar.

"What did you see?" Cisco's eyes are burning and the heat is licking at Barry's skin, uncomfortable and leaving Barry unsure on how he could escape. "We were still alive right? Should we be worried? Is this the last year I'm going to spend alive, because I've got so many things I wanted to do. My poor mama -"

"Caitlin's married!" It slips out without permission, Barry wincing at the words, bracing himself for... he isn't quite sure.

Cisco freezes at his words, mouth still agape, mid word. "Oh." He tries to keep his face neutral, expressionless. "That's nice." He fails.

"You like her don't you?" It's a question he already knows the answer to, confirmation written on his face. Cisco wore his emotions on his sleeve. It is one of the best things about him. It is also one of the most heart wrenching.

"Pfft," Cisco tries to brush it off, slipping back on his mask of indifference, crooked and tight and it doesn't fit at all. "Of course I do, she's like my best friend. No offence." And Barry shakes his head because how could he even compete? They had been through so much together, had been the other's anchor during their most tumultuous and turbulent times.

He pushes harder against Cisco. "You're in love with her."

The words cause Cisco's mask to slip, to fall on the floor and shatter into tiny pieces. "You can't tell anyone okay." There is a desperation in his voice, Cisco grabbing Barry by the arm, bottom lip trembling as he utters those words. "Especially Caitlin. She can never know." His voice is tainted by heartache, his eyes broken as he looks over Barry's shoulder, caught up in fantasies he would never be privy to and - judging from Cisco's expression - he may not want to.

It falls together slowly, his need for Caitlin to not find out, the pain in his eyes, the heartbreak in his voice. But the pieces all fit, the realisation causing Barry to widen his eyes before furrowing his eyebrows, confused. Because Cisco hasn't put it together - how hadn't he put it together?

It's incredible, the idea that Cisco thinks she would be happy and in love with anyone but him. How could he be so blind to the obvious, to the truth.

"I won't," he swears and Cisco nods sharply at him, letting go of his arm, wrapping his own around his torso, hugging himself.

They are interrupted by the arrival of the other's, Harry holding the coffees for everyone, Caitlin carrying six boxes of pizza. She stops near the entrance, full view of both Cisco and Barry's faces, the pair too slow to disguise their expressions. And even if they tried she would be able to read them both easily. It rubs off on her, Caitlin's face falling as she senses Cisco's bad mood, indecision warring on her expression as she debates going to talk and comfort him, all the pizza boxes in tow. It is obvious to Barry that she wants to and - god Cisco, he thinks, how can you not see how in love with you she is.

She doesn't move though, Caitlin trailing after Harry, distracted from his ramblings, a pensive look on her face even as she tries to follow along with the conversation.

Barry gets up first, a hand on Cisco's shoulder as he leans down to whisper something in his ear. "She was wearing a sapphire ring, okay buddy. You should probably remember that." And with those words he walks off, Iris just arriving, arms full with files she would need to read through for her article, the deadline looming.

He leaves Cisco to ponder the implications of his words, a grin spreading across Barry's lips as he hears a quiet " _for real_?" leave the other man, joy and disbelief and excitement all wrapped up in those words.

The shift in his mood is obvious, Cisco beaming as they ate their dinner, ignoring the jibes Harry threw his way. It leaves Caitlin confused, happy for him, but confused. And she glances between Barry and Cisco frequently, head cocked to the side as she internally deliberates on what had caused such a change in his mood.

She doesn't end up finding out that night, but she doesn't need to.

Cisco was happy and thus, so was she.

* * *

It takes Cisco three months to take Barry's words to heart. Three months of pushing against boundaries he thought existed, three months of shock and delight as he realises that they aren't there, that the only thing holding them back was themselves.

He starts off with small things, Cisco initiating contact with her more than usual, more lingering hugs and touches, on her bare shoulder, down the length of her arm, hand squeezing at her waist. There are dry kisses against the top of her head, Cisco taking a moment to breath her in, marvelling as she leans into his body, humming as she is surrounded by his warmth. If she is surprised by the increased affection she doesn't say anything. She reciprocates in kind, Caitlin coming up from behind him, sliding her arms around his waist, hugging his back in greeting. She runs her fingers through his hair absentmindedly, tugs his arm around her shoulder, curls up into him whenever they were sitting on the couch together. He watches in awe, committing it to memory, glad that - if nothing else - he would get this one moment.

He lets his tongue loose, complimenting her whenever the thought crosses his mind, removing the filter to his thoughts, words that he would normally stem now flowing off his tongue with ease. It leaves her flustered and blushing, a smile that could light up the room on her face as she basks in the genuineness of his words. He says it until it becomes habitual to tell her she looks beautiful and that she is a genius and his life wouldn't be half of what it is if she wasn't there with him, by his side. The first time he lets those words take form out loud her breath hitches. She is only a foot away from him, her hand lifting to cover her mouth, hiding her reaction from him. He never wants her to hide anything from him. His voice is quiet and his eyes are searching hers, looking for any sign of rejection, of hesitation. He thinks he should kiss her, wonders what she would taste like, wonders if it would take her by surprise, the feelings that he had bottled up inside of him. But then her gaze flickers to his lips and he wonders if she already knows, if she feels the same, if she wants it - wants _them_ \- as much as he does. And god, how he does.

Nothing ends up happening, Barry rushing into the room, the man standing awkwardly as he realises what he had stumbled across. But the moment is lost and they continue on with their work.

There are late nights in the lab, the pair of them working until early hours of the morning. And he gives her massages, Cisco biting his lip as the most delectable moans leave her lips, Caitlin asking for him to move _lower_ and _harder_ and _god Cisco, yes, right there_. Those nights usually end with him breaching her to her bedroom, and himself into his bathroom, pants too tight and mind stuck on a loop, her throaty voice pleading for more just, more playing until it was the only thing he could hear, her face pinched in pleasure the only thing he could see.

It is three months of dating her without actually dating her, nights where it was just the two of them, fancy dinners at restaurants, the pair of them strolling through the park late at night, underneath the starry sky, holding hands and bashful smiles and stealing glances at the other through the corners of their eyes.

It all comes to a head one frosty winter morning, Barry cold, far too cold to get out of bed on time. He tells himself he won't be late but even then he knows it is a lie. And he walks in late, Cisco and Caitlin already in the main lab, Cisco sitting on his desk, legs swinging as he regales a story from college to Caitlin. And Barry decides to stay in the hallway, watching them as they continued to flirt with each other and with the thought of being something more.

But then it is no longer flirtation.

Something comes across Caitlin, her posture changing. She is like an amazonian warrior, determined and strong and Barry can see Cisco freeze at the sight of her change, legs unmoving, mouth squeezed shut as he swallows the saliva building up in his mouth. She slips in between his legs, her hand holding his face, tilting it up to her as she leans down, kissing him softly, tenderly. Lovingly. It is a delicate kiss, full of promise and potential, of a love story that was ready to blossom. Caitlin is red by the time she pulls away from him, the smile on her face wide and proud even as she darkens.

Cisco takes her hand in his, mouth moving rapidly, a stark contrast to the way he was running his thumb over her knuckles, slow and soft. Eventually he lifts both her hands, squeezing them gently before pressing a delicate kiss on the knuckle of each hand, Cisco looking at her through his lashes, saying words that cause her to lean down once more, capturing his lips in a more heated kiss.

The sound of applause fills the room, Barry stepping out the shadows, a dorky grin on his face, eyes dancing in joy as he sees his two best friends in a soft embrace. Caitlin, for a woman so strong and sure minutes before, is startled, burying her face into Cisco's chest, smiling against him as she feels his arms wrap around her back, holding her against him. She feels protected and loved and there isn't another place in the world she'd rather be.

Cisco's glare is fierce, eyes narrowing, following Barry as he moves across the room, closer to them. "You couldn't have stayed away for five more minutes?" he mutters quietly.

Barry chuckles, but he stays wisely away from touching distance. "I was already late and please," a smirk crosses his face, memories of the last time he had interrupted their make-out sessions from the future. "No PDA during work hours."

Cisco raises his eyebrows. "Oh really." It is all he says and Barry isn't sure why it leaves him feeling unsettled.

* * *

He regrets the decision by the end of the day.

Iris had come by.


End file.
